Tuesday 24 February 2015

Songs to ban at football stadiums

1)  "he scores when he wants" -  discriminates against players who don't score.

2) Singing a player's name  - also very discriminatory. nobody sings the fans, the pundits or the owners name
3) Singing that your club is the greatest team in the world -  this is biased as it puts down other clubs

4) Singing that the referee doesn't know what he is doing (even if his name is Martin Atkinson) is unjust and abusive as no consideration is given to the referee's feeling

5) Singing 'we are top of the league' - is inequitable as it puts down other clubs

6) Singing that your club won the league at some shit hole is shows lack of consideration as some other clubs that have never won anything and are unlikely to ever win anything

7) Singing that your club is going to Wembley is unfair and insensitive to the feelings of clubs that are not  going to Wembley and might never go to Wembley

8) Singing you fat bastard - this is actually actionable and discriminatory towards all fat bastards. Not sure what happens if they are actually fat and happen to be bastards
9) Finally, Arsenal fans need to be banned from singing the worst discriminatory and abusive song ever. 'She whore a yellow ribbon'. This song is invidious and is sexist. Any Arsenal fan who sings this song should be sanctioned by the Women Liberation Army & the SMP (Social Media Police) 
10) Insert your own suggestion here  

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