Saturday 26 December 2015

How the World Works - Mourinho to Manchester United Rumours as an example (FICTION ALERT)


The sacking of Jose Mourinho has prompted this attempt to explain to people how stuff works in the media and how it affects real life.

The fact that Jose Mourinho had been gagging for a sack before Mr Abramovich finally put him out of his misery is well documented. In my opinion, Jose knew he had irretrievably lost the Chelsea dressing room and there was no way back. He is one fortunate SOB though. Single handedly destroy the Champions of England and move on to your next victim as if not happened. You have to doff your hat to the man. But was it pay back though for his sacking in 2007. Who knows.

Now back to my 'how stuff works"

Mourinho gets sacked. The statement released on his behalf makes it obvious that his termination contract does not preclude him from working in the EPL. Jose's agent is the all powerful Mr Jorge Mendes. A man whose back pocket is so big that Florentino Perez of Real Madrid, Teflon Ed Woodward of Manchester United and many more club chairmen live there.

So Jose's side put out a feeler that he had been approached by Roma (a big club) to manage them less than 48 hours after his sack at Chelsea. Cue the panic by gullible Manchester United fans and management. Big clubs are still after Mourinho. We must join the bandwagon. Strike 1 for the Jorge Mendes PR machine. Don't you find it interesting that all football journalists miraculously got this briefing at the same time and it appeared in all of their papers on the same day. Usually reliable sources they say. We can see through you I say.

NOTE TO ALL - if the majority of so called reputable news outlets carry a similar story except in situations where someone has released a statement or held a press conference, please be aware they have obviously been briefed by someone who is trying to 'sell a line' to the public.

Of course Roma have since denied the Mourinho story. It was tosh. Hogwash even.

Will Club chairman be intrigued by a Mourinho. Surely. His trophy count speaks for itself so does his body count and the trail of destruction that he leaves in his wake. So CAVEAT EMPTOR. And please don't complain after buying, there is no right of refund. You can't 'unbuy' his ability to wreck dressing rooms while picking fights with one, none and all.

Back to how stuff works. Of course after the Roma story spreads, the PR machine moved onto their next victim - Florentino Perez. A willing victim I believe. Again, similar mode of operation. Real Madrid will have Jose back was the headline. Really. Yes Pigs will fly and carry passengers.

TO have Mourinho back, Real Madrid will have to do a root and branch restructure of their dressing room as the wounds are still raw. Considering the Jorge Mendes and Florentino Perez relationship, this was never going to be denied publicly. However the Perez camp have quietly let it be known that Jorge Mendes & Jose Mourinho were playing a game of  fantasy Manager.

But did that stop the Jose to Manchester United stories from spreading like a California wild fire? Hell no. Match made in heaven stuff. Manchester United is suffering. The fumes of that thing sold on the streets of Amsterdam have prevented clear comprehension of the philosophy. The fans are tired of their "downtroddeness" and their is an unemployed manager who guarantees trophies. Forget the after effect, let us win trophies today for tomorrow we shall be back to square 1.

Guess what, Mr Unemployed Manager looking like a tramp doesn't care. Why should he? His PR team are behind the media frenzy against Van Gaal. It doesn't matter that this same Van Gaal got Mr Unemployed Manager looking like a tramp on the street of West London his Assistant Managership at Barcelona.  No, all who know Mr Mourinho know that it is all about him.

What happened to dignity? What happened to "I have respect for a former mentor and believe that these attempts to frog march him out of his job are disparaging". Why can't Mr Tramp front up and let people know publicly that "while I want the Manchester United job, I want it a dignified manner and don't think that hounding my benefactor out of a job is the way to go". No he can't because he doesn't do dignity. There is not an ounce of dignity about our Special Happy Juan.

Again back to how stuff work. A few days later, the media was awash with the story that Manchester United had not approached Jose yet. My interpretation of this story is as follows: Mr Ed Woodward is asking the fans to put more pressure on the great and the good of Manchester United (Bobby Charlton & Alex Ferguson) who were yet to be persuaded by the messianic qualities of Jose Mourinho. Of course, the source had to be from the Unemployed One's camp.

Which then leads us to Van Gaal's memorable press conference. Clearly Teflon Ed Woodward would gladly fire Van Gaal to save his own gig. However in a publicly quoted company the size of Manchester United, decisions like these are not solely in his hand. Going by Van Gaal's short lived press conference, several meetings were held and people who were not in Jorge Mendes back pocket did not allow themselves to be rail loaded into anointing Jose Mourinho as the new 'Damager' of Manchester United.

What Van Gaal's press conference revealed to me though was that the Board of Manchester United had given him no reassurances regarding his job and I suspect they were going to go from match to match going forward. Van Gaal couldn't afford to answer the question about his position as the circus would just have continued. So he played that nice little number and body swerved everybody.

I don't blame Van Gaal. If I was in his shoes, I will do the same although I did cringe about his 'I'm human' angle. If you thought Manchester United's performance against Stoke was listless, just imagine what would have happened if Van Gaal had taken a proper press conference and there was no indication that the Board had backed him.

I believe the die is cast. I believe as I write this, Van Gaal has offered his resignation. He is a proud man who understands football and realises it is about results and when your team puts out that dross of a performance in a must win game, it is time to go. However, it appears there will be no announcement until Tuesday AM especially if Manchester United lose to relegation battlers Chelsea. I don't see any other result though except if by some quirkiness of football, both sides end up losing.

To all Manchester United fans I wish you well. Please hone your "attack attack attack" chant. You will need it. I am licking my lips for when Mourinho plays a defensive back 7 and you have 0 shots on goal. I am looking forward to when you sign Mikel Obi as he is very good at choking the midfield and he is a very obedient servant to Jose Mourinho. I look forward to return of glory to Manchester United when you win the 2016/17 EPL and I am licking my lips for when you are relegated the following season. Cant wait.

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